desensitization at our fingertips
dedicated to all my overthinking empaths
by K.B. Wright
originally typed Winter 2025
I’ve been thinking. And thinking. My mind is flooded with too many questions. never many sufficient answers.
In an effort to not overburden my tiny village, I collect dopamine from the tiny people in my phone. It works like a charm, too!
But too often, I linger in comment sections. I pause mid doomscroll to click “add to cart.” I quote TikToks on FaceTime. I analyze parasocial dms, wondering why so many people think they know* strangers.
the beauty of being an optimist means I can see I’m [we’re] not too far gone. I mean, I don’t hold my phone when I’m walking, waiting, or passing by. Despite any awkwardness, I still choose to acknowledge others in the world around me while we share spaces. And I know when to sit in a moment, not finding it necessary to time capsule every memory. I don’t think it’s a tragedy when I forget my phone at home. I don’t visit certain apps for weeks.
Not until I get that itch… “this would look so aesthetically pleasing on my IG.” Or “I gotta talk about how much I love Octavia Butler’s lean prose on TikTok.”
Then I’m back on my apps religiously. Posting, scanning, viewing, digesting content like my life depends on it. Sometimes, I feel closer to my long distance friends that ever. Many times, I feel too seen. Most times, it’s just simply a fun way to pass the time.
Until it’s not. When I find my thoughts sprinkled with nonsense; a nonsensical stream of chaotic consciousness— infused with fruitless twitter debates, the latest trends, and endless vocal stims. All working together to corrode peace of mind.
Oh, that happens to you, too? huh. okay. Well, we all could get flip phones. But what’s the fun in...